How to tell you are an Iranian... 

If you are a car salesman and at the same time a singer 

If you talk behind your wife with your mother 

If you dress up to go to grocery store

If you go to concert, but you never see the singer and stay in the hallways with your drink and check out girls 

If you never wear your wedding ring 

If you smoke 5 packs a day and tell everyone you don't smoke 

If you pronounce " Sure ", SHOOR 

If your favorite drink is Vodka 

If you are about 35 and have no hair on your head 

If you watch Iranian program on TV, but always nag for bad programming 

If you are good in playing backgammon and chess but can't do your taxes 

If you call gas station, gas estation

 If you ask someone to marry and they want to know if you own a house 

If you divorce your wife but still don't let her
date anyone else 

If you used to be a brain surgeon in Iran but now
you work in a chelokababy 

If you carry 3 pagers and 2 cellular phone and nobody ever calls you

 If you claim your dad was a very good friend of SHAH 

If you don't own a house and have no job but still can afford a BMW
 If you have to shave more than once a day 

If you were a 4 star general in Iran and now drive a cab in Washington D.C 

If your in-laws come to visit and they never leave 

When they ask, "where are you from?" you reply,Italy!!, yet have a "tasbeeh" in your hands 

Have Spaghetti with yoghourt using spoon and fight over its Tahdeeg
 Have an "Aaftaabeh in your Toilet" and if not 

water in a milk bottle will do just as good 

Invite friends over for dinner and buy Pizza, yet cook some extra rice just incase!

 Believe no-one else can make Kabaab Better than us 

Watch Rugby Test Matches, yet play only soccer over the weekends 

Being addicted (so much) to "Tea " that you drink it in a big coffee mug 

Have dogs but don't let them come inside the house 

Beat the hell out of them (dogs) when they come in, then suddenly remember they are " Najess " and go and wash out your hands 7 times with soap and say, "Pedar Sag Aslan Aadam nemeesheh 

Complain about everybody's accent, but yourselves
 
خواهشاْ No offence
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